


5 times Han Solo was ready to die and the one time he wasn’t

by goodbye_fornow



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, F/M, Well the ending is, this is very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 12:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5870290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodbye_fornow/pseuds/goodbye_fornow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title says it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 times Han Solo was ready to die and the one time he wasn’t

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work for this fandom. Also this may be not entirely canon compliant, but I tried my best without reading the books.

**Number 1:**

 

Han Solo was a lot of things. But one thing he wasn’t was a coward. When he was on Tatooine for what he thought would be little more than a routine pick up, he was ready to face what would come his way. 

 

Really it had been a stupid idea to just drop off Jabba’s cargo when he saw the Imperial ships, but that was just a way of thinking. Jabba didn’t pay him his added fee to evade Imperial forces, so he did what was protocol for him at least. Drop off his cargo and run. 

 

It wasn’t like he just let it float out in space to be lost for ever and ever. He had the decency to put it in an escape pod and jettison it in the general direction Tatooine. Or at least what he thought was the general direction of it.

 

So he wasn’t surprised when Greedo confronted him then, although he would’ve expected someone a little more… experienced. Boba Fett seemed the most likely to him. But what did he know about bounty hunters?

 

It never was a good way to start a conversation with a gun to his chest, but he’d had worse. Though being pushed into a mildly pleasant chat (by his standards at least) was not expected, Greedo firing the gun was. Han was readying himself for the inevitable blaster shot, putting an end to short, good-for-nothing life.

 

Han never would have dreamed that he would have enough time or enough cunning to be able to walk away from that confrontation fully intact, but when those two blaster shots rang out, Han was the one left standing.

 

He was more than ready to face whatever the world had to throw and him, and his blaster, next.

 

**Number 2:**

 

The second time Han Solo felt his life finally coming to an end was on that monster of a first death star. And it wasn’t when he was being chased by Stormtroopers or even anything remotely reasonable. It was the stupid trash compactor. 

 

Even if he wasn’t claustrophobic (although he refused to admit, he probably was to some extent), it was still a nerve wracking experience.  There’s nothing like this random kid you felt semi-responsible for mysteriously disappearing because of something in the bottom of this hellish hole that some princess threw you in, and then the walls start closing.

 

It’s enough to scare anyone with any brain at all. And Han had a lot more brain than you’d expect.

 

Han didn’t expect to get out of this one whatsoever, even though Luke had some droids who could maybe kinda probably not do something about their situation. But he refused to believe Luke’s (that was the kid’s name, right?) bantha shit excuse for a plan. A couple of idiotic droids. Yeah right. We’re dead.

 

Han was considering accepting God in his final moments, but then that godforsaken princess had yet another brilliant idea and decided to try and jam the walls with whatever giant stick thing that she had found down here. Reluctantly, he agreed to help her, only because he knew it would make her feel better.

 

When it stopped working (or rather when it never worked) he felt himself send out a silent goodbye to Chewie, who would now be free. He thought at least. 

 

And then the walls screeched to a halt, proving to him that he’d live yet another day. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t still be annoyed at everyone about it.

 

**Number 3:**

 

The third time Han Solo accepted the idea of his looming death was on Bespin. Chewie probably thought that it was when he first saw Vader, or when he was being tortured by Vader, or even in the carbonite freezing chamber, but it wasn’t. Han knew he was facing his doom the moment he stepped on the landing pad and saw Lando waiting for him. That was when he knew for sure something was wrong.

 

It wasn’t like he didn’t trust Lando. Actually, it was exactly like he didn’t trust Lando. He knew their kind well enough to know that it was a trap. He might not have guessed the scale, but he guessed the basics of it. And that was enough for him.

 

Lando was a decent host and he did enjoy the beginning of his stay, but Lando was being uncharacteristically friendly. Enough to cause some disturbance in anyone with any experience in anything illegal. Lando was suspicious, but Lando must have known that and used it as a warning to Han. If Lando was anything like Han thought.

 

So, you could say that her wasn’t surprised to see Vader. He was expecting Boba Fett, but that guy really had a bad history of letting Han down. And he had had such high expectations for him!

 

But Boba Fett was still there, just allied with Vader. So all was still somewhat right in the world. 

 

Being tortured by Vader was a little unexpected, although it only further worked to seal his fate. But being back with Chewie and Leia, that had made him feel so much better. The pain was almost worth it. Almost (not really).

 

And then that last kiss with Leia, the one that was his way of saying goodbye because he knew the words would never come out right, that told Leia it was the end too. But he was ready for it. Because he had made her happy. And Chewie too. And maybe even Luke, if he lived through Vader. 

 

At the end of the day, Han was ready for the end. But it didn’t come/

 

**Number 4:**

 

The fourth time it wasn’t at all simple. He had gotten caught up in a hostage situation between some Imperial supporters and General (Princess) Leia. Being her husband and part of one of the teams who took down the second death star did make him some pretty pitiful enemies. These particular enemies were not pitiful whatsoever.

 

It’s not like he was afraid. Han Solo was never afraid. And anyway, he had passed that stage a while ago (somewhere around the two week mark). He knew he would probably end up dying here in the hell hole after about a month. Now, he had stopped even keeping track of time. It wasn’t worth the effort.

 

He had a feeling that if Leia didn’t do whatever they wanted, they’d kill him off pretty soon. At this point, he had probably overstayed his welcome. Not that he cared.

 

This time it felt different from the others. This time, he felt more certain in his death, but he also felt more content with his life. This time he had all that he’d have everything he’s ever wanted: to be happy. True, he wasn’t exactly happy now, but he had been. And that was enough. 

 

He had Leia to worry about. And Luke. And Chewie. And Lando. And everyone else. His last wish was for them to be happy.

 

And then he felt a little prick at the back of his neck and felt himself falling, falling, and then being lifted up. And then he knew for sure he was dead this time. But why hadn’t he died yet? Shouldn’t he be unconscious already and unfeeling? Unless this was hell. Well Hell wasn’t so bad then.

 

But he woke up, at it was with Leia that he woke up with. And Leia wouldn’t be in Hell. So he somehow was still alive. He had survived.

  
  


**Number 5:**

 

The last time Han Solo was ready to die was when he was facing off Ben, no Kylo Ren for the first time. He had run into some force order forces and been captured because they thought he was Alliance. Or maybe they recognized him. Anyway, he was captured.

 

It was just after Ben Solo had died and Kylo Ren was born. Kylo Ren had murdered all of Luke’s pada-whatevers and then tried to kill Luke or something equally stupid before fleeing. 

 

Then, Luke had disappeared. Leia and Han had had a huge fight and Han left. Chewie went to who knows where because they too fought. And then Han got captured. So really, everything sucked and Han was ready to die. 

 

Han was surprised that he wasn’t immediately met by Kylo Ren, leading him to believe that maybe they didn’t know who he was. Which was probably better. 

 

But when he finally saw his son, or what he had become, Han was not prepared for it. His son, when he removed his mask, looked almost scared. There was something in his eyes that gave away his true feelings. Something that only his father could pick up on. 

 

Han could see that little bit of him that was still Ben Solo. It was a very small part, but it was still there. But then Kylo started going through his mind, just like his tantrums and the damage when he was a little younger. It was more than Han could take at his age. 

 

Han thought he was going to die from the sheer force of the Force in his mind. And then he blacked out. 

 

When Han woke up again, he was on a desert somewhere. He was forced to sell the Millennium Falcon just to get a ride off the place (the Falcon had stopped working and he had no Chewie). 

 

Han eventually found Chewie again, which helped him heal. 

  
  


**+1:**

 

Han Solo saw his son again. His son had hardly changed. But Han had changed so much.

 

He walked along a semi-narrow bridge to meet his son in the middle. Leia had told him to bring him home. And that’s exactly what he planned on doing. Or that’s what he’d tell Chewie later. 

 

He met his son in the middle. He noticed they were over a huge pit that seemed bottomless. Worst comes to worst he could always pull a Luke and just fall into the pit. But when was pulling a Luke ever a good idea. Never.

 

Kylo Ren, no, Ben Solo held out his lightsaber to Han Solo, his father. Han, in the back of his mind, knew what was about to happen, but he took it anyway, because the father part of his brain could never refuse a chance like this. Even if it was a trap, he took it anyways. Because Han Solo had known this day was coming with every moment leading up to it. Han Solo, the scoundrel, the lover, the hero, the father, was going to die. 

 

But, as he saw his son’s expression change, he suddenly regretted it. Regretted leaving, regretted never saying goodbye, regretted those missed years, the lost childhood, lost happiness, everything. He regretted everything that never was and never could be.

 

And then he felt it. Or, rather, didn't’t. There was a distinct absences of feeling where the dagger had pierced his chest. There was no feeling anywhere. So this was death, he thought to himself.

 

And suddenly, he realized he didn’t want to die. He wasn’t ready to die. He didn’t want to leave Leia, Luke, Ben, Chewie, Rey, or anyone else. 

 

He wanted to say goodbye. He wanted to say I love you. He wanted to say so many things that he never would be able to. 

 

And then he was falling. And there was screaming. And he was falling. And Chewie had shot Kylo Ren. And he was falling. And then he couldn’t see. And he was falling.

 

He wanted to speak the one thing he’d never said. His biggest regret. Looking up, projecting his thoughts, he whispered “I’m sorry”.

  
And then he hit the ground.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.


End file.
